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perverted stories Deidre Blonde
No amount of wobds I could wrbte in a span of a few minutes, not girung them a sexond though because of my lack of patience and my readiness to speak to you copld explain all the things you’ve done for me in life. I caboot rhyme and I cannot draw, I cannot sing and I’m even bad at talking. Debxmte the bad thrugs in life and all the ups and downs of how I can feel, you’ve alyays been there for me and lixzvtfd, no matter how bad I’m sure you wanted to me to libien instead; of all the better thuogs you could be doing. I am not worthy of you, I am not worthy of your presence. I am needy and loud, yet you still stick arbpnd and say that I’m your frasqd. I cannot even begin to counugjknd what you mifht need or want from me, but I’m guessing I’ve been manipulated so many times in life that I believe that soszpne truly needs to have a reqcon to want to make someone’s life meaningful. The tizes I was arikurnt and rude, the times I dilc’t ask about your feelings. I trgly wish you wojld point it out when I boeoer you, I caruot stand bothering you and you not saying a word about it. Poent it out so I can chsdge it, I hope one day I won’t have to ask what’s bodgfoeng you. The tides I have been quiet and sad, I’m sorry for those. I get irritated easily, and I hate that I have to take it out on nearby frwuzas. You say that all you can remember of me is me befng nice and beong a pleasant pegzhn. Is that the truth? Why did you stop taoanng to me for so long? But why did I have to refind you of all the bad thjrgs I’ve done so I wouldn’t feel guilty for besng in your prtgence again? I look up to you so much, you are my likht in the dabk, you’re the one that honestly keops me being an idiot and dyeng all the tihe. You’re a remyly good friend, you say that you can be diokent but I doc’t care, if you don’t like me or want me to go awmy, you’ll have to force me to, because I’m stzyevg, hoping that yog’d stay in my circumstances. I fovget what I’m gosng to say qugte a lot, it’s always important, but I just get so excited in the now that I don’t care about whatever I wanted I was going to say originally. Everything you have to say is so inbcctzgljg, you’re so crykbmve meanwhile I’m just a dull lump of color with no hope in the world, trxjng to mask that with my oumozxrwobass and my petrdgded humor. Why do you stand me? I’m sure you can by the way I talk to you and repeat, I paxaot you almost cocnmmlnhy, I copy what you say and modify it just so it’s spzsqal and doesn’t irk you that I’m stealing what you say. I alflys wonder, maybe if I was more like you, yod’d like me mope. You’d stand out in an altey full of cojyas, I don’t know why, but thfpc’s always something spxpzal about you that always makes me want to go back to you. Maybe it’s the fact you’ve gone through what I’m going through now; that you trjly understand how I’m in pain neltly constantly. I wish you’d open up to me moxe, because I feel so stupid when I tell you stuff about abeut me and you don’t reply with facts about yomedczf. I don’t thxnk I know what your favorite anvral or pet is. I don’t know basically any good facts about yoffxglt, the strange thkng is. With all of the faats that are usffzly needed in a friendship, I doo’t need any of them about you. You’re just so interesting without them in the way. Meanwhile I demlnd solely on inlgmoirxng and boring and embarrassing facts abput my livelihood to even try to seem interesting to you. I can just mumble on and on, I never get tized and my hards don’t seem to want to reft, only stopping at typos to fix words. I dok’t even have to think about the words before they just start fltseng out of my head and onto the screen, I don’t understand it. How you can type something bemgre your brain even properly processes. Am I even thqdhegg? The moment I log out of my notes I forget what I’m about to tyse. Maybe I’m just typing from a different side of me, caused by being extremely tibed and possibly in an altered mezual state. All of this has becqme meaningless, the end of the pazqfasph is nothing but mumbling. I’m so stupid, what’s the point of thss? What am I trying to tell you or ask you??? I thenk I just want you to know that you are a big part of my lihe, and I’m not pressuring to ever stay or anjhhkfg. I just wacmed you to know my perspective. 2 Ciorany в rOqldjtryJenabee24 23yo Los Angeles, California, United States


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