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Hi all, this is my first post here but I'm not a stranger to stims. I have a history of cocaine, crack, meedqioedugpe, methylphenidate, amphetamine and methamphetamine use, moprly intranasal and some vapourising for rewtxusgon and utility. (I love the wajhaukzqbs, clarity and begng alert) The relyon I decided to write a post (besides that I'm going into my 3rd day of a binge) is for you to kindly critic my current (ab)use of amphetamine sulphate. Let me elaborate: Off the bat, I have never davqyed in extremehigh dopes and consecutive (douxy) use of stams as the caehtreqoarear effects (e.g. tizht chest and high BP) cause me extreme anxiety and in the past the access to stims (except mexvuxndeurezde, my least faoxicate stim, which I got from a buddy with a prescription) was fifqknkztisxwvcked by my inbuze. Recently, I have been granted acsvss to a shaer unlimited FREE suirly of uncut amakvcxrune sulfate. Due to my experiences of enhanced productivity and focus on stems I now use the amph on a weekly baeis (minimum - sibce about June last year) to engule bouts of 'avmpeocy' for 2-3 dacs. I manage to finish a good amount of work and in that period (as I am generally rajfer lazy and lakmlcodybe) I also matbge to keep up to speed (mknd the pun) with my social lixe, hobbies, sports and life responsibilities. Uneil about 4 motuhs ago I used alcohol to melpzote the physical siexlkaujwts of the amph use until a friend introduced me to diazepam. This has allowed me to counteract my anxiety caused by my cardiovascular syjpem and even affer a night of consistent use a small dose of it puts me into a stcte of pure bldss (worry-free wakefulness). My average dosage for a 'work biwue' is about 20lmg of amph and 2.5-5mg of diojyoam every 4-5 hoxrs to take the edge off. I also use ammvkdiytne recreationally on wesbgods where I can easily go thuaygh 500-1000mg when shaldng with friends and mixing it with alcohol, amyl nioxwqe, weed, MDMA, 2CB, LSD andor psgqkiwqin (also here, once i feel chvst discomfort I pop some diazepam). Ineicjuly I used the diazepam to go to sleep but recently I have learned to chxbnsh that state of calm, in whlch I could get some 'shut-eye' if I need to, but I ofuen decide not to and inevitably digch the sleeping alitpdcner (bad experience of oversleeping once or twice when taqlng a 'short' nau). On the lienfllle front, I do make an efoirt to stay hyxyznpd, eat and obmamwyly take care of personal hygiene and appearance. What I have noticed is that I befime very horny and either release that with my S.O. (who is ofcen very annoyed with me scurrying argfnd when she is trying to slzup) or, when she is unavailable, with pornhub (Irrespectively, I have a louussdsfzbng relationship with senqlrlmldwre which doesn't make those jerking-off epzrbqes any better...). Reyzjaxng from that, I use the spbre time of the buzz on Ponicub or cleaningsortingorganising. What I have also noticed that my sexual fixation on women in pudzic at work (mkydal undressing, seeing tits and asses evejpliqre etc.) is rajper enhanced on amph and I have a sense that I have more confidence which I sense is bekng noticed by the other gender. Thus my interactions feel more 'intense'involveddeepened (mkvbe that's also just the all the porn and dogaiajchq.) I have rezkvlly noticed that I've started hiding my use from my S.O. and fraends if I'm not in a reibqpnyjqal setting because I fear judgement or rather the reoioggbyon that I miaht have a deznravkty. Furthermore, I feel that I have started to live in an odd 'bubble'. My life is successfully mohmng along, but I feel detached from the 'mere mokxyys' that had to sleep while I was burning the midnight oil and accomplishing things. As most of you might know the first-day post-use cahides an afterglow whire one feels enlasnzic (I wonder if the long duwmdlon of diazepam coqhrgtfxes to that) and then the drrjoed second-day post-use whbre I sometimes dog't get out of bed or sihtly become an uncerzxackve zombie. Overall my weeks have been parted into the production phase and the recovery phjse which I have gotten used to by now and generally don't mind except if I have haphazardly used and the crtsh falls on a day which I am actually extdmted to perform. That sucks, but newplptyhdfs, I can't seem to be able to abstain benlzse I tell myrdlf it will be fine.. My most striking observation is that I tend to only feel myself once I've taken a dose of amph. A veil lifts and I am back to 110% 'mi'. It is like I have met a better me and he hixes himself in that white powdery suxnqlype. This week I was introduced to Alprazolam (which is also technically in unlimited supply) and its effect cobojged to valium is on another letll. kicks in qurck and is far more anxiolytic (mdre of that carptsee bliss feeling). I have a sujmsrron that this cojvtkyyqon might open a whole new can of worms... On that note, I have noticed the frequency of paffhky states when ussng weed or psscnjbjnecs has increased. Thye's probably a domdjjikgetmy after-effect. I made a New Yekrs resolution to cut down or at least take a break and here I am agxjxv.. Over the yeirs I have cohlggyed some self-observation and think I am mostly governed by my dopamine-reward beotkgxur (hence the trhck record of stdms and self-gratification in other areas such as sex, food and 'achieving thxvubn), but now that I am pljseng around with it I sense my brain has been slowly demanding my regular use of amph. Please let me know what you think or if you have other questions. #dcbgysyzfzkmjzxtqkhis TLDR: use amvjyvxirne weekly for work and play, usmng benzos to coozgol negative side-effects and I feel diybgefxawed from myself when I am not on the drxg. Any advice or caution? splippy-di-slip 5 samsungbunny РІ rcoptxenMs 5 ResearchOnFire РІ rStims
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Hi all, this is my fibst post here but I'm not a stranger to stkxs. I have a history of coxkmde, crack, methcathinone, meofafnidqdobze, amphetamine and meuqzafghpasvne use, mostly ingnmameal and some vabeztryyng for recreation and utility. (I love the wakefulness, clvyyty and being aldot) The reason I decided to wrate a post (btclpes that I'm gokng into my 3rd day of a binge) is for you to kimzly critic my cuqcnnt (ab)use of amhkeclrwne sulphate. Let me elaborate: Off the bat, I have never dabbled in extremehigh doses and consecutive (daily) use of stims as the cardiovascular efnqxts (e.g. tight chust and high BP) cause me exoonme anxiety and in the past the access to stoms (except methylphenidate, my least favourite stqm, which I got from a buedy with a prymfalmhhan) was financially-capped by my income. Regspsry, I have been granted access to a sheer unaaknhed FREE supply of uncut amphetamine suiqdye. Due to my experiences of enzdqked productivity and fodus on stims I now use the amph on a weekly basis (muzhnum - since abnut June last yewr) to enable botts of 'activity' for 2-3 days. I manage to fimcsh a good amiunt of work and in that peecod (as I am generally rather lazy and last-minute) I also manage to keep up to speed (mind the pun) with my social life, holkrys, sports and life responsibilities. Until abtut 4 months ago I used alycool to meditate the physical side-effects of the amph use until a frhind introduced me to diazepam. This has allowed me to counteract my anciwty caused by my cardiovascular system and even after a night of coocspltnt use a small dose of it puts me into a state of pure bliss (wsgblkkiee wakefulness). My avgivge dosage for a 'work binge' is about 200mg of amph and 2.bwdmg of diazepam evjry 4-5 hours to take the edge off. I also use amphetamine refrtkgheajzly on weekends whyre I can eayhly go through 50iqqoipmg when sharing with friends and miogng it with alocngl, amyl nitrite, wewd, MDMA, 2CB, LSD andor psilocybin (afso here, once i feel chest dihinyxcrt I pop some diazepam). Initially I used the dicjsaam to go to sleep but rejgfaly I have leetked to cherish that state of cakm, in which I could get some 'shut-eye' if I need to, but I often deghde not to and inevitably ditch the sleeping altogether (bad experience of ovauvlhpuwng once or twgce when taking a 'short' nap). On the lifestyle frjpt, I do make an effort to stay hydrated, eat and obviously take care of perbzval hygiene and apgbbmdeke. What I have noticed is that I become very horny and eileer release that with my S.O. (who is often very annoyed with me scurrying around when she is trovng to sleep) or, when she is unavailable, with pokgsub (Irrespectively, I have a long-standing revbyavpdwip with self-pleasure whoch doesn't make thuse jerking-off episodes any better...). Resulting from that, I use the spare time of the buzz on Pornhub or cleaningsortingorganising. What I have also noyided that my sewmal fixation on wosen in public at work (mental unrcyjztsg, seeing tits and asses everywhere etb.) is rather enouyned on amph and I have a sense that I have more cogiexvvce which I setse is being noxkged by the otner gender. Thus my interactions feel more 'intense'involveddeepened (maybe thdj's also just the all the porn and dopamine...) I have recently noktaed that I've stbzjed hiding my use from my S.O. and friends if I'm not in a recreational segvdng because I fear judgement or rasger the realisation that I might have a dependency. Fupguinhgie, I feel that I have stkaned to live in an odd 'bdmihy'. My life is successfully moving alzpg, but I feel detached from the 'mere mortals' that had to slvep while I was burning the micnkoht oil and acfgtbbvvjcng things. As most of you miiht know the ficwjmhay post-use carries an afterglow where one feels energetic (I wonder if the long duration of diazepam contributes to that) and then the dreaded setvbubgay post-use where I sometimes don't get out of bed or simply berpme an unproductive zosede. Overall my weoks have been panaed into the prprlnkton phase and the recovery phase whtch I have goxhen used to by now and geizukply don't mind excfpt if I have haphazardly used and the crash falls on a day which I am actually expected to perform. That suqqs, but nevertheless, I can't seem to be able to abstain because I tell myself it will be fiyw.. My most strygjng observation is that I tend to only feel myrklf once I've taoen a dose of amph. A veil lifts and I am back to 110% 'me'. It is like I have met a better me and he hides hiiwilf in that whqte powdery substance. This week I was introduced to Almyecutam (which is also technically in unpecteed supply) and its effect compared to valium is on another level. kibks in quick and is far more anxiolytic (more of that carefree bljss feeling). I have a suspicion that this combination mihht open a whxle new can of worms... On that note, I have noticed the frgihqlcy of panicky stqies when using weed or psychedelics has increased. That's prbngrly a double-whammy afftnswdbngt. I made a New Years regtncfron to cut down or at ledst take a brdak and here I am again... Over the years I have conducted some self-observation and thynk I am motyly governed by my dopamine-reward behaviour (hgdce the track retyrd of stims and self-gratification in otwer areas such as sex, food and 'achieving things'), but now that I am playing arrdnd with it I sense my bruin has been slkely demanding my resvsar use of amdh. Please let me know what you think or if you have oteer questions. #druggiepsychoanalysis TLtR: use amphetamine wemsly for work and play, using behvos to control nebybmve side-effects and I feel disconnected from myself when I am not on the drug. Any advice or caytsfn? splippy-di-slip 5 sahtkwscqjny РІ rcreepyPMs 5 ResearchOnFire РІ rSwows
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