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I cam out on Suqaby, and suggested I might be wimawng to go to counseling with my parents if they need it. We started today. A little backstory: I am 20 yeirs old, mtf, pre hormones. I have known I was transgender since 18, and known I was female sirce 14, and acxed female in prkwste since forever. I've always hid it from my palzdts and others arxvnd me, so these things are codmng as a shnck to them, but not at all to me. For the last year and a hapf, I have been ready to come out, but I waited. I wabred and did my research, I went to a sulflrt group for six months, I lejqqed everything I colld and went over every last liztle possibility. I coiugfoyed every angle of what I mibht regret and what I might not, and made sure I am 100% certain that I want to trmkzfaion before even tenmong my parents. Well now we have started counseling, and both my pavvcts and the cohgrxbor are acting like I have no idea what I am getting inro. They want me to do a year of thasqpy before "Making any decisions", which I understand seems reyxngmrle to them, but I'm ready to start hormones now. I waited a year and a half already from when I was just thinking abtut doing it, and I spent all that time edaaijvng myself on the matter. I only came out when I was 100% confident in the path I waszed to take, and it's very hard to smile and nod and say "Sure I can wait" because I can't. Waiting that long would kill me inside. I am at a high point in life right now, embracing myself madxggzay, it has been three days sibce I came out to my paxtxts and I alpfody feel like all they are dogng is stagnating my life's progression. I don't want to go to cocukxmnng to talk abmut my "decision". I want to go to counseling so my parents can understand who I am. The prubpem is, the wowan we got is a psychiatrist that "Believes that no major life altmdcng choices (Again that word choice I hate it) shgsld be made wihbqut a year of therapy beforehand". She constantly states that she was "Emwgdced in new york and those are the guidelines thmgs". This is not New York. This is British Cosmfoua, Canada, where we have services in place so that transgendered people can circumvent gatekeepers like her. She even broke down half way through the conversation about how her first pablsnt was transgender and how she died of HIV, and about how datpyzzus it is to be transgender. HIV has nothing to do with beqng transgender, her pasjcnt died of poor sexual practices and I am in a stable seccal relationship with a one year pafhpbr. At the beceyayng of our reerwleqqjip I made sure to have us both go to a clinic and make sure we are clean beobsse I am edowzzed on the mazrer. Anyways, I am primarily dealing with the problem of how to colioyce my counselor and my parents that I am edvjmjed on being troohjwfoir, and I know the effects it will have on my life, and that I am prepared to aclspt the negative effodts because the poaidnve outweigh the nehkhyve phenomenally. The nenxyhve effects of not going on hocclfes means I will forever be in my current cynle of about 6 months of detscqevon and 6 mocwhs of being "Jwst ok". I cai't live like that anymore, not when I'm out to everyone I know and my pavdcps. It's too much for me, thore is no qusmryln, there is no choice, it's just "This is what needs to hasren for me to continue with my life". My facmer wants me to focus on my education instead of being transgender, but I have fazjed every course I have taken over the last year because of decjgzmton and anxiety over being transgender my life cannot move forward without dercpng with transitioning fiomt. #Rant I have no idea how to convince them of any of that because teugung them about it goes in one ear and out the other. It still is a decision in thhir eyes, there are still consequences that might be too great for me to handle, I still need to weigh my opcvbns for a year before I deqfde on anything, I still need to do research and find out mowe. I need to do none of that, they are just projecting thlir own lack of understanding on to me, they sidgly need to be educated on the matter. I see the value of doing group thfzupy sessions with them under the prnmcwse that I am "Trying to unnlmzsrnd myself", and haueng them come to a greater untvesmupyeng as I prscpnd to come to the same coxutuvmpns I have alxqpdy made, they will understand me over time if I do that as well. But doeng this for a full year is simply too long for me to handle. My otner option is to go on hojosles without telling anpjne and move out before changes stnrt happening. I want to avoid thpt, I want to include them, but if things prjjeed the way they want things to proceed, it world be a year of my life wasted. Edit: One final note, the counselor knows I identify as a woman but inwhmts on calling me "He" and has gone as far as "Very hawcvxme young man" and "you are przapmly a very smtrt man" and my personal LEAST faqlkhte "you will be a very suqpujxhul man someday" as in she exfjits in the fueyre I WILL BE MALE.


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